Untying Knots

Design Your Own Life

My healers.


Thankful for my tribe. My healers. The real ones who stayed for the long haul. Even when it was hard. You are my forevers.

The best thing you’ll never have.


His hit and run. My accident.
Guilty. Innocent.
Soul-less. Soul-full.
Doomed. Healed.

Nothing but love.


Have the day you deserve. ❤

Dear Narcissist Fanclub.


To his fan club.

I didn’t know your secrets, how could I, unless he told me.

How could I know about the one who beats his wife. I wasn’t there.

How could I know about the one who cheats on his wife. I wasn’t there.

How could I know about the one of you who does drugs. I wasn’t there.

How could I know about the one whos tongue is so cruel to his wife. I wasn’t there.

How could I know you can’t stand her kids & you’re not as happy as you portray. I wasn’t there for that conversation either.

Where I was though, was with him.
And while you all believed his lies about what I was, the fact is, you knew I was good.

You weren’t there to hear him tell me all your secrets. To use your indiscretions to make him look better than you. He thinks your wives deserve better.

He kept me in his cocoon and from being close to you.

I suppose as long as you believe he’d give you the shirt off of his back, you’re not thinking he could be taking the shirt off of your wives.

I’m not sure if you’re all cruel, cheating, wife beaters. But its important you know, who you are a fan of.

Your brain & yoga.


Scientific methods have confirmed that changing the way one breathes can improve problems with anger, depression, and anxiety and that YOGA can positively affect such wide-ranging medical problems as high blood pressure, elevated stress hormone secretion, asthma, and lower back pain.

Even better, in 2014 studies have confirmed that yoga treats sufferers of PTSD, abuse & trauma.
Yoga significantly improves arousal problems in PTSD sufferers & dramatically improves a persons relationship to their body. Which we know is a key issue, the loss of the brain body connection & how vital it is to repair this by helping a traumatized victim learn to comfortably inhabit their body again.

Its a brain thing.
After a 20 week study done on trauma victims, weekly yoga classes, they developed increased activation of critical brain structures involved in self regulation: the insula & the medial prefrontal cortex. Pretty awesome stuff!

There is science to our souls & healing that comes from this knowledge.

More to come on this subject…

The way back.


The one. Myself. Faith. Universe. My heart. Your soul. Touch. Vision. Fragrance. Flavor. My voice.
We have to understand why we get stuck in the past is… that is where the disconnection happened. Once you reconnect your body to your brain, rebuild your intuition & heal, you will be whole again, awake to life & the joys & peace it wants to gift you.

Until he falls asleep again.


Your sexuality was too much for him. It made him feel inferior. He was.
He had to try and take it from you because he knew too.
You play along and become the submissive one.
You learn to love these encounters. Because it’s the only time he stops talking. You love his silence now. His words hurt too much.
You’d rather hear his odd shaped grunts then his formed words.
My night time moans from his hushed tongue are welcomed over my day time tongue lashings.
You’d rather feel the push and pull between your legs then the rise and fall of each day.

You’re thankful he falls asleep so quickly. And sleeps the same way he lives. Like a dead person.
Now you can pleasure yourself.
Finally the release you wanted. The one that makes your toes curls. You give yourself.
You pray to sleep forever because waking up means he is there and the torment begins all over.
Until he falls asleep again.


For some of us our childhood home is not a structure, it’s a system of loving misfits.

This home is a refuge
from the lack of structure in our own.
Where your parents fight
or your mom yells
at you or you can’t ever
please your dad.
Where one parent is missing
or they’re both gone whether
in reality or in lack
of involvement.
Where you don’t feel
heard, seen or valued.
Where there’s abuse
of bodies, minds, or

This home that they are,
can’t protect us from
the disfiguring ours causes
us but what it does do
is keep us alive.

Our closest childhood friends
breathe life into our open
They show us
we are worth saving, with
their unwavering love.
They teach us how to trust others
and ourselves.

Their immature advice helps
us make bad decisions
that lead us to some
of our best memories together.

They cry with us.
Get in fights for us.
Make us laugh and
let us vent until 4am.

When our teenage lives
make us grow up faster
than we should,
they help us remember,
even if just for a
moment… that we’re
not really adults.
We. get. to. just. be. 15.

I would not have survived
childhood without these friends.

My first home was not
a place.
It was these people.

❤Trish Markey~Untying Knots

Thank you Brian Whitney for being one of my first homes. RIP

Why opposites do not attract.


{Why opposites do not attract}
They said. its ok. hate. it’s part of the grieving process
but I knew different. it was what I’d always think of him. Hate and evil are of the same cloth.

They said. if you hate. it means you still care. My smirk. Look up the definition of care.

“the provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.”

I am care. He is hate.

I am only calling him by name.

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